Live each day like it's your last first !!

This morning, I decided to get my hands dirty and pushed myself to clean the kitchen... while scrubbing the stove top, many thoughts sprouted and for some reason, one stayed. These thoughts came up probably because of the mundane task that I was busy taking care of.

Maybe another part of me was reminding me, judging me and arguing with me. It's my preachy half... she kept whispering - "Live each day like it's your last," and I felt angry for being judged at that moment. In my defense, I told Her that if I really had to live each day like it's my last, I would end up becoming so useless and annoying to the people around me.

Agreed, I would never waste time doing laundry, keeping my home clean or cooking healthy food for my family. But seriously, will people ever want to live around my dirty surroundings and stinky clothes? And, on a serious note, why the hell would I save any money at all? Why would I exercise?? I'm okay with dying with those few extra pounds on me. If today really was the last day of my life, I'd keep my husband at home. Surely he can skip work on the day his wife is about to die?

On the last day of my life, I'd splurge, donate, and for the last time, meet a lot of people by unexpectedly showing up at their doorstep (or on their phone screen), demanding their time. My friends' and family's facebook pages would be filled with annoying PDA and for this one day, I would be labelled 'Spammer' by all my contacts on Whatsapp.
On the last day of my life, everyone would have to handle my nostalgic self and like it or not, smile and keep me happy. 

''Okay!!'' 

I heard my preachy half tell me. 

''Go ahead and do the laundry next. Live each day like it's your first. What you do today, will determine what you do the next day.'' 

And it was at this moment that I dropped the scrubber into the sink, took off my gloves, marched into the living room and got comfortable on my recliner, TV remote in hand.

"Well...in that case, I have many more days to do purposeful stuff. Today is just the first...I'd rather relax than do laundry," I said.

My preachy half stared at me, sighed - and this time, joined me on the couch. 

''I'll take care of you tomorrow, today is just the first.'' she said. 

Tainted

It was during the monsoons
Those nights they spent talking
Like the world had just two people
Two pieces that fit too well
That shared stories, secrets, songs and sorrows
That fell in love when they shouldn't have

It was all real, all true
And it was all unacceptable
Too young and too old to be together
They were pieces born years apart
Two pieces that should not fit
Lovers that should not be

And so they walked two different paths
But they kept those promises
Together, to grow apart
Forbidden as their love was
There was little else to lose
Much to remember, during monsoons.

Sacrifice

Night tides in love

Rise up, fall down, give up not

While the moon waits long

The oceans hold back

Tides from kissing the moon

So the Earth lives on

Written and composed for Haiku Heights, Prompt word: Ocean

While the tidal force is purely scientific, it can be viewed romantically by poetic, or even ignorant minds:)

Poisoned

Mix the poison

Into the ocean

It will reach home one day.

Written for prompt word OCEAN given by Haiku Heights, this haiku bluntly talks about the way industrial waste is thoughtlessly dumped in our water bodies and is a reminder that this water will come back to us over time.

Bitter Truth

Stepping off the train

Absorbing chaotic life

Dreamy eyed, she smiled.

Through the rushing crowds

That did not look at faces

Unseen, she walked by

This grass looked greener

Across her sub-urban fence

To feel it, she came

But it had no dew

Perfect fake grass with no bugs

Her first 'bitter truth'

The plastic green blades

On land that was barren

Spoke about its people

Those painted faces

With unhappy eyes

Spread like cancer in time

Seasons changed 

But the fruits remained the same

...Hard to find sour grapes

The rains came and went

But the glorious rat race

Seemed to have no end 

Beautiful city

With it's opportunities

Could not hold her back

Bag in hand, she walked

Amidst chaotic crowds

To find what she had lost

Extruding the pain

She stepped into the train

That took her back home

In still waters, She
Looked back into her eyes
To find scars and lies

And then a tear drop
Washed off the grime,
Unveiling a wee ray of joy.

Written And Compiled for Haiku Heights. Prompt word: Urban

I hope to have achieved the aim of making each Haiku stand independently while still contributing to the compilation as a whole. Hope you enjoy it!

Beach...

Womb

From the beach's womb

Little turtle as you leave

Come back one day too.

Written for Haiku Heights

Prompt Word: Beach

Message

Washed ashore by sea

Message came in bottled green

'Thanks for freeing ME'

Written for Haiku Heights

Prompt Word: Beach

Time...

As you do, will I

Leave impressions

And die infinite?

Written for Haiku Heights
Prompt Word: Time

Parallel Shores...

I cross this bridge

Away from your world

All alone, with faith

To find what I yearn

The day I return

I will bring in my eyes

The stars and seashells

That will keep me alive

And then if you burn

This bridge in the dark

I'll wake up and build

A rage in my heart

These shores I will cross

Every day and night

I'll bear all the pain

Of the waves that I fight.

With time I will Frail

My vessel will float

One evening you'll find

I haven't come home

And when you start looking

On new shores you will find

This vessel and those seashells 

Both empty but pristine. 

Between you and me...

These are parallel worlds..yours, mine and ours...each world believing in another..unsure if it exists...yet being connected by unseen strings. You are not new, neither is your existence to me..yet, in your absence, I doubt if your real...

I move on and I feel no difference. Like nothing is lost. Like everything remains just as it was. This cup will remain full for as long as I keep drinking from it.

In sunset and with sunrise, you enter before I open my eyes. These are not tears, they are only the rays of your light.

Its like a feeling of being barren. Of being incapable of retaining life. These are my war times. A battle with an enemy I'm not sure I know. It's not a win-win situation for sure.  For whoever is defeated, remains to be a dead part of me.

So yesterday when I nearly lost my life, I was pulled out, punishment is not in demise. For punishment is maybe not the Universe's style.

Blind Faith

So she left no leaf unturned.
Even if it meant that she'd have to tear off each leaf from the most beautiful tree in her garden.

It was not something done intentionally.
Yet each leaf that was torn off was torn off with an intention.

Who was to blame when the Gardener sat silent, watching all the tamasha.
He could have told her the truth.

He knew the leaf with the answer. Yet, what joy did He get seeing her will against her wish?
In silence He watched those pretty leaves weep with her. Did He love none of them?

"When the Gardener pretends to be blind, He wants you to learn," the wise Old Banyan Tree said.
If there was anything more she had to learn, could He be more kind?

Anticipated

As Death approaches
I fear it less
I’m ready for it
I have few regrets.

I even fantasize it,
How will it be?
Will it grip my heart
Or will it make me bleed?

Will I die in my dream
Or in the middle of a road,
Will I die a virgin
Or leave a bawling child alone?

Will I make my folks smile
By being a traditional, well-cultured house-wife
Or will I run away, deep sea-dive
Rebel and suffice till my demise.

Though not the moon
I could’ve surely reached the skies
Had I obeyed my heart
And not their ‘well-meant’ advice

Bored of the pricking needles
That put me to rest,
As death approaches,
I feel it less

Left with no fantasies,
I’m ready for that last breath
Its prediction on a hospital bed
Being my only regret!

Vacant Grounds

Vacancy is everywhere. Isn't it? You just need to be able to see it.

Isn't it vacant in there? 
In that smile when you’re happy too?

Isn't it vacant when you look without? Maybe within too?    

So isn't that why you want to fill it up?

All vacant lands are used as feeding grounds...grounds growing fruits for the world.

Grounds that are ploughed, exposed to all weathers..                 

Grounds that suffer..to fill others.

Yet, aren't those vacant grounds?

Selfish vs Coward

There is something strange about living under the cloud of being grateful. Because you don't know when it's going to burst and when you are going to have to use your umbrella of truth and get ungrateful altogether!

It is indeed strange when you need to explain that it was not ungratefulness on your part but rather your integrity. It is difficult, most, to explain yourself to the people who you call family while they never stand by you. Or at least that is truly how I can feel about it.
Anyway, so what do you do when your difficult, orthodox folks call off a wedding because of what seems to you (and to any other unbiased person) like an ego clash with your prospective in-laws? WOW! Isn't that like 'Oh, your friend laughed at my haircut? You are not going to that school anymore!!'
No seriously, I wonder how a family of 20+ people can be okay with that while ignoring the fact that their child is for once very happy and 'right' by their original definitions. It may make you question all the things you have learned while growing up...wonder if it's hypocrisy on their part or stupidity on yours to have believed that the morals you were given were actually things your folks believed in and followed too.
So yes, this is when I decide to do what I think will make me feel proud. I decide not to betray someone I love and who loves me back. Walking out on one's family is very difficult. Because it makes you feel that there is no one you can come back to when things go wrong...and it makes you want to make sure you never have reason to ever depend on anyone else. And you know, in anger, all you can do is act, but you can not change your feelings, erase your memories and start afresh like nothing ever happened.
The strangest part is when they call you selfish. And you wonder which fool said that being selfish is wrong and easy. Because it so is not easy and it is so much of a right thing to do. 

Row for yourself, and you're never going to sink. And when the storms overturn your boat, you'll drown without regrets.
Yeah, call me selfish. What do you think I should call you? Coward?