Dear Papa

It did not feel right to cry. To mourn your death.
It did not feel right, but the tears still came.
I wasn't around, it did not feel right
Not after you asked her to leave

It did not feel fair, dear Papa, to be by your side
To feel your pain and ignore hers, like everyone.
I chose her, while you died.

The night you left, there was nothing to feel.
Just a need to hold you close. To tell you I love you.
Both things I'd never been able to do, not when you were alive.

And today, when I mourn you, Papa,
More than a thousand days after you left
I know you loved me.
And I hope you knew I loved you.