Between you and me...

These are parallel worlds..yours, mine and ours...each world believing in another..unsure if it exists...yet being connected by unseen strings. You are not new, neither is your existence to me..yet, in your absence, I doubt if your real...

I move on and I feel no difference. Like nothing is lost. Like everything remains just as it was. This cup will remain full for as long as I keep drinking from it.

In sunset and with sunrise, you enter before I open my eyes. These are not tears, they are only the rays of your light.

Its like a feeling of being barren. Of being incapable of retaining life. These are my war times. A battle with an enemy I'm not sure I know. It's not a win-win situation for sure.  For whoever is defeated, remains to be a dead part of me.

So yesterday when I nearly lost my life, I was pulled out, punishment is not in demise. For punishment is maybe not the Universe's style.

Blind Faith

So she left no leaf unturned.
Even if it meant that she'd have to tear off each leaf from the most beautiful tree in her garden.

It was not something done intentionally.
Yet each leaf that was torn off was torn off with an intention.

Who was to blame when the Gardener sat silent, watching all the tamasha.
He could have told her the truth.

He knew the leaf with the answer. Yet, what joy did He get seeing her will against her wish?
In silence He watched those pretty leaves weep with her. Did He love none of them?

"When the Gardener pretends to be blind, He wants you to learn," the wise Old Banyan Tree said.
If there was anything more she had to learn, could He be more kind?

Anticipated

As Death approaches
I fear it less
I’m ready for it
I have few regrets.

I even fantasize it,
How will it be?
Will it grip my heart
Or will it make me bleed?

Will I die in my dream
Or in the middle of a road,
Will I die a virgin
Or leave a bawling child alone?

Will I make my folks smile
By being a traditional, well-cultured house-wife
Or will I run away, deep sea-dive
Rebel and suffice till my demise.

Though not the moon
I could’ve surely reached the skies
Had I obeyed my heart
And not their ‘well-meant’ advice

Bored of the pricking needles
That put me to rest,
As death approaches,
I feel it less

Left with no fantasies,
I’m ready for that last breath
Its prediction on a hospital bed
Being my only regret!

Vacant Grounds

Vacancy is everywhere. Isn't it? You just need to be able to see it.

Isn't it vacant in there? 
In that smile when you’re happy too?

Isn't it vacant when you look without? Maybe within too?    

So isn't that why you want to fill it up?

All vacant lands are used as feeding grounds...grounds growing fruits for the world.

Grounds that are ploughed, exposed to all weathers..                 

Grounds that suffer..to fill others.

Yet, aren't those vacant grounds?

Selfish vs Coward

There is something strange about living under the cloud of being grateful. Because you don't know when it's going to burst and when you are going to have to use your umbrella of truth and get ungrateful altogether!

It is indeed strange when you need to explain that it was not ungratefulness on your part but rather your integrity. It is difficult, most, to explain yourself to the people who you call family while they never stand by you. Or at least that is truly how I can feel about it.
Anyway, so what do you do when your difficult, orthodox folks call off a wedding because of what seems to you (and to any other unbiased person) like an ego clash with your prospective in-laws? WOW! Isn't that like 'Oh, your friend laughed at my haircut? You are not going to that school anymore!!'
No seriously, I wonder how a family of 20+ people can be okay with that while ignoring the fact that their child is for once very happy and 'right' by their original definitions. It may make you question all the things you have learned while growing up...wonder if it's hypocrisy on their part or stupidity on yours to have believed that the morals you were given were actually things your folks believed in and followed too.
So yes, this is when I decide to do what I think will make me feel proud. I decide not to betray someone I love and who loves me back. Walking out on one's family is very difficult. Because it makes you feel that there is no one you can come back to when things go wrong...and it makes you want to make sure you never have reason to ever depend on anyone else. And you know, in anger, all you can do is act, but you can not change your feelings, erase your memories and start afresh like nothing ever happened.
The strangest part is when they call you selfish. And you wonder which fool said that being selfish is wrong and easy. Because it so is not easy and it is so much of a right thing to do. 

Row for yourself, and you're never going to sink. And when the storms overturn your boat, you'll drown without regrets.
Yeah, call me selfish. What do you think I should call you? Coward?